Posts tagged ‘“gamer church”’

Sound checks hurt sometimes

With each boyfriend she got another song. One week LORD DRAGON’S WIZARD would be a ring tune, another SKELETON CREW would sound off any ims. She had begun them the moment her middle school band teacher saw her play violin. Possesed he came over and examined her, a week later Mom and Dad were in the building, “your daughter has talent,” the teacher said, mom smiled. She went to classes after school, first violin, then later guitar. Her first boyfriend asked her to play in his band. He played bass, she wafted notes from the violin, and another boy drummed. They dressed in black jeans and shirts. The band played a high school talent show. Then the boy scored a gig at a local coffee shop. She still remembers the fear of the coffee shop, these other people were impossibly cool. Some of them smoked, some of them drank, she ended up smoking pot in the back seat of a large immacutately maintined chrome beast. She kissed some dude and ended up with his number. A few different people gave her their number that night, except the really weird art dudes that gave away e-mails.

Jeremy was what she saw at home. She spied him through slated doors. He spent all his time in his games. Some times he read things (usually magazines and comics she discarded), but mostly he played games. He was particularly in love with a platformer. She liked to play it with him. The large puffy dogs would rise in the air and land on candy clouds. Jeremy would do impossible things, like jam a cake and a dog into a platform and them wiggle and waddle the beast until the cake spat out in comic mischief, rising impossible miles into a virtual sky, even their hi-def tv couldn’t handle it. She sometimes gave him things, he loved a pink slider ring she wore when she was 12. He also preferred her old bracelets and the tube socks she left in soccer cleats long out of use. Father had tried to convince him to wear the other socks and occasionally asked him to take off the rings, he refused to go outside with him unless he dressed “normally.” Finally, he enrolled him in little league.

Little League was something she was to busy for. Once, on the way to a gig, she saw him through the window, getting ready to bat at the game. The other team all came up close and she just kinda winced. At the very least they were nice to him. The guy next to her stirred as he shifted the clutch. She opened up her tablet and clicked through a few updates, she calmly palmed a few messages away and then wrote a little blog post. The gig was in less than an hour, so they had to hurry for sound check.

May 29, 2011 at 4:48 am Leave a comment

Gamer church

It was the summer nintendo released that pokemon game set in the big city. When Jeremy first saw the trailer, he freaked. Juho Town had the scale of Manhattan with the bubbly architecture of a cartoon. Pokeballs were lost in sewers, stolen on bikes, erupted in shopping malls. Trainers were explored the metropolis on poke-wings, poka-bouncing from rooftops, pokemon sang romantic songs to pokemon on fire escapes, gecko like pokemon walked up skyscrapers, the challenges were enermous. Jeremy imagined placing his 3 pokemon so he could parachute into a flooded rooftop and then ride a seal through the watery streets. He quietly put the new system and game on a few wishlists and then realized he was late for school.

“Really want that pokemon don’t ya?” She said in her boyfriend’s car. Jeremy saw a spider pokemon producing trampolines that launched you into the bay, “sure,” he said. The car motored through other spaces just waiting for poke-fun to enable them. The city was one vast site of energy into which sensation could now project.

All the pokelisions behind him Jeremy came into school and sat in his pokadesk with pokepen and his notepad in which Mr. Chalmers simplicities flowed. After 4 minutes of explanation the principle of the algebra problem came to him so He quietly scuttled through the pokedex, the sovereign source of all pokathings and find a few he wanted to use in the city. He began squirtling them out of his pen on paper, imagining the algebras of consumption and utility the new nintendo console would entitle. The drawings ran into the city of his desires. God did he want that game.

May 22, 2011 at 4:49 pm Leave a comment

Gamer Church

Jeremy had found the porn on his friend Seth’s laptop. Seth was a small hyperactive skater whose mother had accidentally befriend Jeremy’s one night at church and the two had become video game buddies ever since. The porn site had the design sensibilities of a Chinese toy. Purple and lycra colored stripes went up everywhere, cartoon women made out in flash ads. In one picture a woman in diving gear displayed her private parts for him. He’d never seen a vagina before. He also had a blanket with him which was supposed to lie on the ground, but rather covered him as he felt his private parts. He was just getting to the part where he was reaching up to the dive vest feeling the lycra texture when he heard foot steps and startled hid the thing under his sheet. “Ha! Found you!” she said, “Found what?” Jeremy said sheepishly, as if his innocence could erase sight. “What are you doing?” she said. “..just reading…” he said, she took the phone from him. “This is mine,” she pronounced. Jeremy made no attempt to recoup the phone, Jessica enjoyed torturing the boy a little, she smiled and sat down. “So. What’s your name?” she asked. “Jeremy,” he said. “Whatcha doing here?” she asked, “just reading,” he said staring at the grot below. “Why ya reading this?” she said, shoving a video of a woman having live octopus draped on her. Jeremy shut up now. He spoke in little weasels each one a proffer of excuses, and the words that timidly issued from his mouth could not have been from a human being, rather it was like clay bending so as to be whatever you wanted it to be, a giant push pin she could play with.

The porn site ended up in her feed along with a procession of things she would take from Jeremy over the next few weeks including two video game sites heavily invested in the idea of Japanese school girls that liked Korean school girls, a usb keychain mysteriously absent of porn, and a pokemon game he had been hoarding in the bottom of his bag that measured your walk. She thumbed the usb keychain into her touch pad one night only to find bizarre mp3s and a large stash of metal music that seemed at odds with him. The pokemon game revealed a steady loss of battles, the game also didn’t play right as if someone had hacked it so that the world seemed to be slowly falling apart, she watched pokemon panic as her trainer’s gaze swept over them, and then merge into more complicated chimeras and dissapear. It was the type of thing only someone particularly into the grey zones of the rom scene would find.

As she soon found, Jeremy was a peculair deadspot in the school’s social scene, many people did not in actuality seem to know he existed. He slinked out of special ed classes at 9 and then into gym at 11. Before Jessica asked to borrow his game, he would sneak out into the bathroom and play a few rounds of pokemon in the stalls and then he entered English lit around 1. After school he walked through fields and the park and then he played games on his brother’s machine. That’s where he first discovered gamer church.

When the game that’s gamer church isn’t pretending to be gamer church it is instead a game about vast alien wars. You are a solider dropped into conflict with a nano suit. The nano suit is introduced by an announcer who sounds like a friendly army recruiter or a particularly good high school coach. The nanosuit is manufactured by a small arms company in Wisconsin and then shipped via mass effect relays to the soldiers on the front. The game itself consists of defending space marine drops, before getting into mechs and rounding up the locals into one bloody ball. The whole thing made war seem like something you bought off amazon, a neat tidy affair with uniforms made from smart materials and bombs that go boom with a flair. Who wouldn’t want to play?

Gamer Church came from Sunday school and Jeremy was a little amazed with the quality of the mod. He posted on the forums about the architecture, each cathedral had its own theme, materials, textures, choke points. He began to chroniciling them in screenshots, creating a virtual gallery of each one which was collected in wikipedia. He captured entire games and edited them to youtube clips. He answered questions on the forums, but he never dared talk to the mods, he never consented to conversation with the Jesuses, who he played with weekly, he simply watched them come and go, and posted about their games on each and every site.

May 2, 2011 at 4:25 am Leave a comment

Park Porno

Trucks exist in multiple different formats. Some come tall and sturdy, others rugged but vintage, her father’s though was simply homey. She pawed around in the seat next to him and slowly a ton of neuro-chemicals climbed into hey synapses, she felt consciousness return to her. In front of her was a red pleather glove compartment and she felt the sense of home that cars can bring, the sweet road weary sickness of a family trip. Dad was humming in the seat next to her. Her phone had registered at least 18 IMs, 1,400 tweets, and 8 new facebook friends, “Are you okay?” the Dad asked, her Dad she thought silently correcting herself. “I’m so tired,” she beamed, “can we go home?” “On the way,” he replied, she pawed through the tweets finding nothing especially intriguing, and then she saw @armourjesus CONGRADS ON MAKING IT OFFICIAL from someone named gwynie_winnie39 whom she had no memory of adding, and that’s when she started crying again and the chorus of fatherdom began his coaxing.  When they got home, she crawled into bed, still a little sobby, and went to bed.

The idea of returning to school, much less to the MISSPISSYDEATHSTENCH hunt, was overwhelming. She begged her father to let her stay home sick, “Dude!,” she shouted, “I CAN’T GO TO SCHOOL TODAY!” They yelled for awhile, but in the end he got her into the truck and she walked into the hallway and hid in the bathroom. After an hour she made her way out to the park, she im’d Miguel, “hey! wanna come to the park with me?” “dude, where are you?” he returned, “we have a test today.” “Dude, I’m not going there… not today. Not with that little bitch and that asshole sitting around holding hands.” “Dude, it’s not that big of a deal, they’ve been going out for awhile.” “Dude, I’ve been with Jessie for like 3 years. I introduced those two. Caroline is my bestfriend and she runs off with him?” “He’s not your boyfriend never was, you’re just on the same squad.” “DUDE FUCK THAT BITCH!” “You can’t blame them for liking each other,” Miguel exclaimed. She felt a peculair disconnection she’d never felt before, as if a giant lag sign had somehow been erected just north of her sight in the park, her reality was a peculair reality, a pock marked one, and each of Miguel’s beeps bounced off a new sense of isolation, as if heart break had dragged her into its own world and she descended the park’s staircases in an Orphaen daze.

Space has some peculair properties. The well organized desk she kept at home was the only concession she gave to order, the rest of her room was as disorderly any other manufactured wilderness, yet nothing in it can prepare you for the moment you enter the woods. The feeling of being enlivened, the way the eye seems perfectly adapated to such an environment and then the smell, “it must be the smell,” she thought as she walked a little further. Ten or so paces back a procession of ants had thrwated her, now she simply saw the forest as it is, before the overpass a few miles over and the Taco Bell perched on the perimeter 5 miles to the east. She walked down the worren path, having never ventured this far into the city’s only wilderness preserve. She was a princess walking through the woods, a woman with out a knight, something like that. ​

She sat down in a grove of thickening trees, but still not wide enough to symbolize forest in her eyes and she spied a bbq pit a few meters over. The forest had been designed in some half ass manor so as to meet a requirement for a “natural” place, but the idea of frying burgers in the middle of an uninspiring wood hadn’t managed to unseat the drama of family and fucking that kept the city indoors. It was primarily a place where youths could due drugs. She found an improvised beer can bong in a tree and whisked it away and felt another refrain of the mile wide heart ache that pressed at her, the intense betrayl running through her and she managed a few steps into the abyss the bbq pit presided over and noticed a small little boy in the distance, the child she saw clinging around the stop signs after school, lonely, isolated, and now reading a porn magazine.

 

April 14, 2011 at 11:08 am Leave a comment

nolly wizard

She made her way out of the school and spied the same kid, alone on the bench as she always did. His hands indolating waiting, his posture implying a ride. She made her way past him and then out to the bus routes where she found the closet bus to MISSPISSYDEATHSTENCH’s abode.​ A large blue chrome behemoth came in, and she sat next to an African couple with bags of Nigerian DVDs and sugar cane drinks. She stared out the window at the rolling gausian blur as if photoshop was running in real time on the world around her, she began to wonder about misspissydeathstench. Who would fly a helicopter around a game and not even play? Did she have a boyfriend? It seemed like she did, she was older, those girls had boyfriends. She began to think of Jess again, the two of them fighting off hoards of satanists in the chapel, him taking her to the chapel, in the chapel, the chapel.

She fell asleep on the bus, the couple woke her up as they were getting up and she asked where they are. They motioned outside, “Westland is that way.” the nigerian woman said pointing. She had missed her station. She had never used a bus before. She asked the bus driver how to get to Catelan Memorial High School, he simply shoke his head, “this is the end of the line,” he said, “you gotta get out here.” “Can I take another bus?,” she asked, “this is the last bus. Shouldn’t have slept through your station. Call a cab.” The nigerian couple offered to walk her to their shop. She cautiously made her way out of the bus with them, she was about to cry.​ The couple walked about 2 shops over and then put the keys in the door. The door opened onto a dusty little grocery store, stacked with African magazines, exotic produce, and a humming fridge in which her benefactor put his palm sugar drinks. ​She sat down and the man asked her if she wanted a coffee. She’d never had coffee before, but she was also nearly frozen in anxiety. She managed to meep out a yes. He brought two cups over and they sat down at a little table. That’s when her phone made the facebook chime.

Jessica had never been completely alone. Her Dad had always been there, and when he wasn’t there, the train was there. A thick, iron, procession of box cars charted through their backyard and between it and the jet screams overhead, it was hard to imagine the world ever being empty. In the playlist that organized her memories, Jess had been eternally in the next segment. On the occasions he had the ability to kiss her, he had somehow passed. For the past 3 years they had been the best of friends. That’s why she began to cry when she opened up facebook and found Jessie ___ is in a relationship with Caroline ______. Tears balled down her face, she made uncontrollable whining noises as the sleeves of her sweatshirt rolled over her hands. She cried and cried and collapsed into the darkness of her arms as the man asked, “Are you alright?” “I wanna go home,” she moaned. “Do you need a phone darling?,” the woman asked, “No, I just have to call my Dad,” she pandered. As she reached up to get her phone, her sweatshirt knocked over the coffee, a long brown stain ran down her arm, she felt a wincing pain as the coffee singed her, she started to sob again, her hand jack knifed pain into her brain, the Nigerian man took her phone, “Allow me,” he said, “he thumbed into contacts and found Dad, “is this it?,” he asked, “Yes,” she murmured as he swiped the call button, and she heard the man explain to her Dad their location, “he wants to talk you,” he said. The man handed over the phone and she heard her dad say, “Everything alright pumpkin?” “No, I’m so lost… I don’t even know where I am,” she moaned. “Jess, you know I don’t get off work till 10,” he said, “can you stand tight for just a little?,” he asked, “Dad, I wanna go home,” she said. “Just stay with those folks a little longer,” he coaxed, “I’ll be there in an hour.” She argued back and forth for a few moments and then she tried to call a few of her friends, but not one had a car. That’s when something caught her in the right of her eye, right outside the window, on top of the mini-mart, purple robes beaming  and his eyes staring at her and she made a quick motion to the store keeper before she quivered and passed out.

April 9, 2011 at 11:18 am Leave a comment

Pepper

No one had invited him. When the Reverend first figured out that it might be a good idea to sponsor a local deathmatch team he had posters printed up, “Holy Warriors” he wrote and then one Spartan bathed in the light with the Church behind. Join our fight every Sunday with a service from Junior Reverend Jessie Hillcock, the poster said on the bottom. The posters made it around, the Church became something of a hit, a regular 5 – 6 disciplies showed up every week, and then one day out of the spawn points came Pepper… He always came early and ran around looking at things, as if somehow the ground would tell him where to leave med boxes, the team had never impolitely kicked him off the team, but somehow he never left. The message had been somehow relayed, that Pepper was here to stay.

They had been in training with Pepper for two week when they noticed a bunch of new gamer tags coming onto the map. Jessie got ready to welcome them and Pepper began to spread out med boxes and mumble something into the microphone. They heard laughter of their headsets and the heavy, bass, thrawl of some metal dirge she half remembered, but seemed to be playing slower and more menancing. Their heavily modded suits came around the corner, whooping and howlering, “you see, there it is.” Twenty custom armoured demons began to laugh in the courtyard. SkeletorPenis would woop them all. She still had that video on her phone. Sometimes she went through it, copied his peeks around corners, there was a consistency to his play that she liked. The way he so instantly came to appraisals and was surprisingly watchful, she saw him pick off two of their warriors who had taken out LORDSOUL, it was as if judgement was given legs and then proceeded to jetpack into a delima of decessions. SkeletorPenis learned her favorite spots in seconds, he had ArmourJesus pegged in minutes flat, he could calculate the exact moment BigBaby would lose his line of sight, she watched him weave through halls grab a grenade launcher and then jet pack to the ceiling before a bewildered BigBaby tried to aim his gun, thud, one more grenade frag for the kill. By the third respawn, the Church had been pegged with grafitti tags, one featured a horned demon with an enlarged penis pentrating a girl, another featured Jesus on his knees sucking a man’s cock in a bathroom, others simply pegged giant worms and dimensional gates all bearing doom. She simply stopped playing for a second to observe the grafitti and through it she heard the slowed down spectral haunt of the singer’s voice, like anger dropping down to the speed of shit. Pepper kept playing, he shotgunned intruders and was heard cursing, as they pinned him in a corner with axes, his ammo depeleted his medic just kept slowly recharging, the boys laughed as they sliced his spartan only to watch it slowly grow back.

She found herself googling their information later. She managed to track one down to a local high school down the street from her. The others came from as far as Norway, Australia, and England. They came together on a metal forum called THE WIZARD. The Wizard was always spelled in caps and featured a Wizard reaching skyward as a dragon dropped a guitar into his hands. Jess, on the other end, didn’t quite buy the whole Pepper working for the Satanist thing, but she kept spamming him with profile pics from THE WIZARD until they settled on one, a small, slightly effemiate boy from Pasadeana who bore little relation to what she thought of Pepper, but it was a start. She found facebook profiles for them, SkeletorPenis was in a band that apparently came through town on occassion, she made a note of their upcoming performances. SkeletorPenis aka Eric Lerner was a tallish college age man with raven hair down to this ankles and an assortment of metal rings and bands around his fingers. He appeared to have created The Wizard to keep tabs with various bands he was working with or around at anytime. She found his band’s website and the videos. There was something captivating about him, the conviction of his tattooes, the way he played, he was in fact something of the virtuso in the band, his guitar built layers of noise upon the frame of the singer’s shouts. She kept panning through the videos until something caught her in a frame, a little bit of purple behind the counter at a gig in Tulsa. She slowed it down, she crawled at second intervals, thumbing the video’s slide bar up in her phone’s screen until she could center in on a single second. The same wizard Miguel had shown her earlier was eerily present in the film, just to the back, and slightly behind the bar. She starred the video and then in the comments wrote #THE_WIZARD 3:47 BEHIND COUNTER BARELY VISIBLE. She went back to Jess and mentioned the wizard, but he was oblivious, “Someone is just inserting him in there,” he mentioned and that’s when Miguel popped up in chat. “Did you tag that?,” he said, “Yup that was me,” she said, “Holy fuck dude! Do you know what this means? We might have a location. I’m getting someone in Tulsa to go by this place.” “The address is on the band’s website,” she said Jess popped up, “I found MISSPISSYDEATHSTENCH,” he said. “Her gamer tags lists her first name and a group of bands she’s in. She’s on facebook. She lives nearby.” With this she sat up with a start, “Where does she live?,” Jessica asked, “near our school, I think she goes to school with LORDSOUL,” Jess continued, “I got company. Armourer out.” She sat back in her bed, two of them lived near them, she had IP addresses for them, she could track them.

April 7, 2011 at 10:33 am Leave a comment

Dogs on the Cathedral

After the meeting she went out of the cafeteria and messaged Caroline, but she was nowhere to be found. She walked alone down the hallway and saw some queer dude talking to some girls in faded skirts and metal t-shirts. She looked at him for a second and moved on. Out the doorways and into the sadly urbane plane of glass, steel, and stone. She walked pasted trees potted in cement, down into the tarmac where the sky always looked so blue, and then onto the measured monotony of the sidewalk, a heat haze following her every step. The phone made little bleeps, Jess was tweeting about some models Miguel had worked up for the next church… and then she thought, “the next church?”. She popped open Rob and hit his tag BigBaby opening up a voice messenger. “What’s this next Church crap about?” Rob “Playing something, hold on a sec.” In the midst of the day, she heard the ruggling of joystocks on carpet, “are you there? Yeah about that, Miguel is building a new church. Jess thinks we should switch up, have a rotation, stuff like that.” “Oh ok,” she said, “I guess that sounds cool. Is Miguel online?” “Just google him, he’s got videos and everything on vimeo.”

She googled his name with the words “new church” and came up with a video of a swirling, cathedral like structure, like one of their local Churches only on steroids. Bio-organic railings ran down the stair ways, angels held up the roof, it was as if CAD had unleashed a theme park of religions in place of physics. It was the type of place you took school girls to disembowel them in the basement, she thought quietly to herself, she secretly kinda like it. It reminded her of a Church in a Science Fiction movie she’d seen. The protoganist had gone beyond the void and come back half shadow, his shadow’s lips took on a like of their own, and his metal clad hands rubbed down serpentine bannisters in the space ship’s cathedral. He was a supremely evil man. She didn’t like that movie very much. Miguel’s video panned around as if the camera was one of those robo-dogs from the Jetsons obeying the smooth tracks of a future cyburbia. Another cyber-organic doorway loomed in front of her when Caroline’s pic came up flashing, “Sorry bout that, was at a movie. With Frednand. z showing us a new game. looks cool.”

Caroline and games weren’t an entirely  unfamilar consort. Caroline of course didn’t play the FPS with them, but she was into a gymnastics game where you waved a wand around and watched cute version of yourself do tricks. They played this together sometimes and laughed. It was cool, but Jess thought it was stupid, “all you have to do is wiggle the controller and you win,” he said. Caroline had come back about stressing the virtues of the game, you really learned to do gymnastics, but Jess was adamant that it was one of the worst games he’d ever seen. It took a couple weeks, but eventually she managed to get the wiggles and the timing of the moves down so that she could wop anyway at the game who tried. Jess sat down and waggled his controler, Caroline  went into contortions, perfects ringing up and down her spine, and then Jess had to admit the point, that maybe there was some skill to it. Caroline was pleased and watched them play their FPS that day. She enquired about the nurse and they watched Pepper struggle through another day at the church like a hunk of meat forced into a soldier’s pose, but somehow slouching down into the medic’s role. They both grinned at the thought of Caroline taking on the medics role.

Bump to today, she’s home. The homework is in the do bin, the dinner is in the microwave, she’s scrolling through the games’ various players, watching SkeletorBalls finish off some dudes with awesome accuracy. In one play through he manages to nail a guy with the grenade launcher while jet packing up to the steeple. She keeps flipping through the players, BigBaby Jesus is running around the scaffolds nailing nurses with sniper shots and then she comes upon Pepper. Pepper is, as usual, running holding up his gun in a soldier’s pose, but for the most part seemingly lost as to where he should be. “You just cover the big guys,” she though to herself, and that’s when she noticed something peculiar. Pepper ran out into the road and then down it’s a way just as a Satanist’s airborne carrier warped in. She saw the name MISSPISSYDEATHSTENCH show up over the carrier and watched SkeletorPenis40 onload from it, glance back at Pepper, and then thinking better of it make his way to the Church. MISSPISSYDEATHSTENCH hovered for what was an abnormally calm few seconds in a war zone as pepper stood indolently under her. After a second, she realized some type of p.m. conversation was going on. After a few more seconds Ms. Piss hovered off to the church and Pepper stood there for a moment, and then began aimlessly wandering again. She always thought of him as running in circles. She popped up Jess on the instant messenger and told him we might have a problem.

April 6, 2011 at 1:33 pm Leave a comment

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