Archive for May 2, 2011

Gamer Church

Jeremy had found the porn on his friend Seth’s laptop. Seth was a small hyperactive skater whose mother had accidentally befriend Jeremy’s one night at church and the two had become video game buddies ever since. The porn site had the design sensibilities of a Chinese toy. Purple and lycra colored stripes went up everywhere, cartoon women made out in flash ads. In one picture a woman in diving gear displayed her private parts for him. He’d never seen a vagina before. He also had a blanket with him which was supposed to lie on the ground, but rather covered him as he felt his private parts. He was just getting to the part where he was reaching up to the dive vest feeling the lycra texture when he heard foot steps and startled hid the thing under his sheet. “Ha! Found you!” she said, “Found what?” Jeremy said sheepishly, as if his innocence could erase sight. “What are you doing?” she said. “..just reading…” he said, she took the phone from him. “This is mine,” she pronounced. Jeremy made no attempt to recoup the phone, Jessica enjoyed torturing the boy a little, she smiled and sat down. “So. What’s your name?” she asked. “Jeremy,” he said. “Whatcha doing here?” she asked, “just reading,” he said staring at the grot below. “Why ya reading this?” she said, shoving a video of a woman having live octopus draped on her. Jeremy shut up now. He spoke in little weasels each one a proffer of excuses, and the words that timidly issued from his mouth could not have been from a human being, rather it was like clay bending so as to be whatever you wanted it to be, a giant push pin she could play with.

The porn site ended up in her feed along with a procession of things she would take from Jeremy over the next few weeks including two video game sites heavily invested in the idea of Japanese school girls that liked Korean school girls, a usb keychain mysteriously absent of porn, and a pokemon game he had been hoarding in the bottom of his bag that measured your walk. She thumbed the usb keychain into her touch pad one night only to find bizarre mp3s and a large stash of metal music that seemed at odds with him. The pokemon game revealed a steady loss of battles, the game also didn’t play right as if someone had hacked it so that the world seemed to be slowly falling apart, she watched pokemon panic as her trainer’s gaze swept over them, and then merge into more complicated chimeras and dissapear. It was the type of thing only someone particularly into the grey zones of the rom scene would find.

As she soon found, Jeremy was a peculair deadspot in the school’s social scene, many people did not in actuality seem to know he existed. He slinked out of special ed classes at 9 and then into gym at 11. Before Jessica asked to borrow his game, he would sneak out into the bathroom and play a few rounds of pokemon in the stalls and then he entered English lit around 1. After school he walked through fields and the park and then he played games on his brother’s machine. That’s where he first discovered gamer church.

When the game that’s gamer church isn’t pretending to be gamer church it is instead a game about vast alien wars. You are a solider dropped into conflict with a nano suit. The nano suit is introduced by an announcer who sounds like a friendly army recruiter or a particularly good high school coach. The nanosuit is manufactured by a small arms company in Wisconsin and then shipped via mass effect relays to the soldiers on the front. The game itself consists of defending space marine drops, before getting into mechs and rounding up the locals into one bloody ball. The whole thing made war seem like something you bought off amazon, a neat tidy affair with uniforms made from smart materials and bombs that go boom with a flair. Who wouldn’t want to play?

Gamer Church came from Sunday school and Jeremy was a little amazed with the quality of the mod. He posted on the forums about the architecture, each cathedral had its own theme, materials, textures, choke points. He began to chroniciling them in screenshots, creating a virtual gallery of each one which was collected in wikipedia. He captured entire games and edited them to youtube clips. He answered questions on the forums, but he never dared talk to the mods, he never consented to conversation with the Jesuses, who he played with weekly, he simply watched them come and go, and posted about their games on each and every site.

May 2, 2011 at 4:25 am Leave a comment


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