The Night begins… I don’t remember anymore… I am facebooking or something like that… there’s a party at Glow w/ Nat & Goro. I’m not gonna go, I have to save… I have to go to Laos next week… around 10 I decide to go… glow turns out to be a 3 story house converted into night club. There are girls and eventually I decide to talk to one… she has a boyfriend… Mem and Deyan and Emma are there. I say Hello. Glow has these bed couches so I lie down and play gameboy… I have a gin and tonic… at some point I have a mental arguement with Luz Iriguay… she is enforcing traditional gender roles I need to get up and talk to girls pinch asses shit like that… I tell Mem I need to pinch people’s asses, she grabs mine and molests it, I feel her ass and some friend of her’s ass. He actually has a hot ass. There’s a girl walking around with a page boy cut and a cool dress, I try and talk to her, we can’t relate. The bar has Fernet Branca, I drink two of them and Dane comes in. He can’t understand me, thinks that I’m talking about some night. I say hi to Ichiro. Me and Dane exchange books we’re reading… read… possibly going to finish. Of my remaining 1000 baht I’m down to like 400 at this point which reminds me… I’m down to like 1000 baht left which is one of the reasons I didn’t want to go out… also the ass pinching thing occured to me with the girl with the pageboy cut, you see Luz Iriquay comes in my mind post-fernet branca and while I’m sitting there talking to this girl she turns away from me and I have this idea to pinch her ass, but I can’t because I basically don’t know her and something is just saying don’t do that… so at that point I go and complain to Mem about my need to pinch asses, the guy was tempting BTW. My Nintendo DS keeps crashing so I can’t finish the level I want to in Zelda. I read some Luce on the ereader Je, Tu, Nous and as usual am impressed, her stuff flows through me, I feel the thread of the conversation opening… Some other notable Glow moments, two hired dancers on the stage, the smallness of the crowd, Bangkok’s clubs seem to max out around 60 people, Glow reminds me somehow of the little techno clubs in Brooklyn, small space which packs at most 60 – 80 people. The DJs are amazing it has Fernet Branza, I’d say it’s a win. The party finishes and I end up going to some after hours place at a hotel on Soi 20 walking to in which I can’t kinda help shake my head, this place appears to be whoretastic, but once we get inside it seems to be more that every Thai couple on sukhumvhit has ended up at this place scratchdogs, the music is obnoxiously loud, the mc interrupts every song, some decent stuff comes ons every once in awhile when we enter they’re playing that Jay-Z with Alcia Keys things with “new york… lets hear it for new york…” which is really good actually were it not for the fact that the song is destroyed in 8 different ways before we even get to our miniscule table. Mem has her second boyfriend with her tonight, her friend with the punky hair cut is really cool. She dances amazingly, it’s really hard to watch at times… I just rubbed nicotine into my eyes… I need to shower… BRB… Scratchdogs is the type of place I would normally avoid, but I am having some fun here and at this point I’m so out of girls that the concept of any of these women getting a rise out of me seems absurd all the hootchie mommas around the dance floor are beautiful, but I don’t dream of reaking violence on their body, squeezing body parts etc. except Mem who is pecularily slutty and hence I do slightly lust after, her belly pushing through her dress, her make up offseting her eyes, not quite beautiful, but rather memorable… kinda like my 60 year old manager I tried to dance with unsucessfully at the last school party… Deyan and I agree to leave and we end up at Goro’s which is kinda like what I’d imagine Goro’s place would be, an empty house rented with others which is in tern sparesely furnished with record crates, I love Goro’s place it reminds me of people I knew in Florida etc. It bears a resemblance to the type of place I would have lived in college. There’s a girl on the bed when I come in and her sleep is both erotic vulnerability and question, I feel a link to her, a need to be so vunerable and increasingly women seem like the phoenix bearing under the pressure of male desire, constantly reinventing themselves, or perhaps I’m wrong… I imagine Emma laughing at this… during Goro’s party I also have this mental argument with Emma whose asleep at the point feet away from me, something about sleeping, following women, etc. The dj plays something that sounds like an African chant or Animal Collective over the house record he’s playing, I aks what, he tells me it’s The Police, score one for Sting… I decide to download the album later. At times I’m haunted by radical feminists, butch dykes, and other things and their view of the world, I think in terms of man meat, objectification, I am asleep on Goro’s floor the voices come on, it’s been an hour… I continue to wonder if these people even like me, do they even want me to be there or am I just a quiet lump on the floor, dwindling away into the evening, someone there to bum cigarettes, can I talk? do I talk? do i even want to talk? I serve no purpose, but I do ok self reassuring comments come back on… it’s time to go, we wander down the street… I feel a need to make sure everyone gets into their cab… Deyan can’t even speak a lot of thai… oh yeah I am also haunted that evening by this women who hired me to teach English in Japan who didn’t get me and took each and every facial expression and expanded it out into a world of assumptions many of which are wrong, you know the people who think they understand, but don’t get you? one of those types, constantly annoying because they prick some aspect of the self that shouldn’t be because they can’t give in and admit that maybe they just don’t get anyone. I am to tired to usher people into cabs, I get the in the first one and worry if my 200 baht will make me home… it does and I got a change for breakfast =)
p.s. I am glad I went out.