Archive for May 16, 2009

Waterparks of the Ancients Act 2

Water Parks of the Ancients Act 2

Act 2

ok, here goes…

*the room goes dark…have only a dim red light, curtain rise, showing a altar on the center stage, a boy starting walking from the back, cut through the audience, then on to the stage..he stops at the altar, light a candle and silently pray*

SAINT FOX: Howdy little lamb, what storm brings you here?

(This is Matt’s input from the previous thread that didn’t come up…so I’ll re-post it and we can go on from here:)

(an owl in the roof speaks down)

owl: you might want to speak louder, i see many like you here whispering to the wall only to get no reply.. Maybe there out. maybe there busy at a themed dinner party that you weren’t invited to. they abandoned you. but dont be frightened just remember i only speak in code…
Who may I ask are you calling for?

Lamb: (In such grief, shaking voice) My fellow farm animals….I’ve come to pray, to cry, to morn with the deepest sorrow of me heart. Oh thee shall remain, forever in my mind. For that, I am the lamb of God, I dedicate my pray to thy soul.
*cries and moan* As you said, He might never hear me, he might exist not but a name, but I dwell on the only savior of our souls. I dwell on hope. And with hope, I feel his embrace. With hope, I live on.

Saint Fox: Well, I hear you, but then I ain’t exactly God’s favourite saint. He’s none too happy with me setting up a bar at the back of his church, but with all the lost souls that come to cry on deaf ears I figured it’s the least I could do. What’ll ya’ll have to drink?

Lamb: *sobs* vodka lemonade, please. *sobs*

[Enters holding Icarus’ hand]
Matilda: Oh my god! I had no idea that you could get married in the Water Park of the ancients! This so cool!!!

Lamb: *staring at the new arrivals, still sobbing*

Owl: all sheep go to heaven. drink it, drink it!! [head jerks violently]

Saint Fox: You too, owl baby. A riddle in a shot of tequila, with the lime wearing a disguise, as usual? All sheep go to heaven, after they roll a seven. But we’ve only got one dice.
Candles are on the house, pilgrims, light up, you never know what they’ll show you.

Matilda: [turns to icarus] I think they want to finish their scene. Let’s go out to the wave pool with Pol Pot’s grave in the middle of it again. I wanna a ride swan boat out to Phu Quoc Island.

Heimda: [A lion roars again, this time with a woman scream of terror]

Icarus: No wait Matilda. We came here to get married. And that’s what we will do. Is there a priest in the house?

Lamb: (scream with rage) Do you not have respect?! how could one be so cruel to put on joyful event in the presence of my deeply devoted sorrow?! (sobs and then drink up) another vodka shot please…

Saint Fox: Lamb baby! Whoever said marriage was a joyful event? Would you begrudge these pretty pilgrims the chance to promise to suffer each others’ pain forevermore? Here’s your vodka, listen to what it’s telling you, and perhaps it’ll listen to you…

Lamb:point taken. amen to that *drinks up thw whole shot quickly*

Matilda: Ahh madness and suffering such are the things the Hmong and the Khmer have so desperately tried to bid ado, but love is forged in madness and suffering its cause, hence to suffer is to love.

Lamb: (to Iccarus) does she always talk shit all the time like this? or is it just a pre-marrage kidda thing?

Icarus: (to lamb) don’t fuffle over mad menstration. you’ve never had a blood bomb go over between your legs. i havn’t either. but i’ve seen enough of them blood bombs. boom boom boom. its nasty stuff. trust lamb dude.

Heimda: [Blood flowing out through a slit beneath the door, the room where Heimda and lion were making music. The previous loud noise and scream from the inside has gone silent.]

Matilda: Maybe we should go check on them?

Saint Fox: You better be ready for what you’ll see. Y’never know what’s what in this place; here we got the blood of life licking the altar’s feet, but what we got outside? I got masks, you might wanna put them on, cos everything you see here’s sure as hell already wearing one.
Now excuse me, I better check if the blood wants a drink.

Matilda: [takes mask walks off in the blood]

[The door flings open, almost hit Matilda as she jumped away in time. Standing at the door is a figure of half a lion joined together with half a naked female body, back to back. Thick red blood dripping from every body part.]

Heimda: We have become one [the two eerie voices come out overlapping as the right side figure speaks] and strangely I recall this sacred union. From now on, we will refer to ourselves as Heimdilion. Our blood can quench your thirst. Feast, you may, as my left half here has already done to me so.

Lamb: *traumatized by it all* omg this is madness!! you all are crazy!!!!! *got himself another shot and drank it quickly*

Matilda: [tries a little blood]


Matilda: Hemdilion will you see me and Icarus through our vows? We do so need family even if mutated and spouting miracolous cure alls. Perhaps a flower lion? or maybe some centaurs for the groom?

Icarus: I’ve always had a thing for Centaurs in fish nets. … but sine there arn’tany around do you mind doing the cermony Hemdilion?

Heimdilion: Foreseeing a new union to come, I warn you of all possible consequences for it is such a heavy burden. Now, if your physical and mental condition are prepared, you shall make a vow before me and my other half, before this crystal coloured Absolut and before all living and non-living things in this hall.

Speak loud and clear in unison. Are you the progenitor A, and you the progenitor B, ready to become one?

Icarus/ Matilda: (unison) yes.

Saint Fox: Then I anoint you with creme de menthe and a little lamb’s tears.
Now drink y’all of this holy liquor.

Lamb: I OBJECT!!!!
*wipes the tears and speak loudly with drunk shaking voice* I thought i would keep this for Act 3, but fuck it. *pulls out a M16 machine gun* EVERYBODY STANDS STILL, OR I’LL FUCKING BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!!!!!!

Matilda: It’s over Lamb. I don’t love you anymore. It ended when you killed our griffins and left pure Heimeda with nothing more than a lion for a pet and gash for my sex.

Icarus: What?! Wait a second? You slept the the lamb? you slept with a fuckin woolly? When were you going to tell me this? And where the fuck does a lamb buy a M16?

Saint Fox: it’s a metaphor, sweet-wings, and a hypocritical one at that. It’s supposed to be a clich├ęd shorthand for “innocent”, but that ain’t quite our vodka-stained lamb, is it now?

Heimdilion: [gaze coldly at the matter] This is a blatant foolish act! [run towards the lamb and bite his hand off to free the M16 from his holding.

[a high speed drives Heimdillion too far frontward. The joined body instantly flies out the stained glass window into the black pitch darkness outside and falls into the ground below. A twisted carcass is clearly displayed as everyone runs out to witness the sudden death of Heimdilion. The lamb’s hand with the M16 is still clenched tightly in its mouth.]

Lamb: WTF!

Icarus: Well, that was a quick death.

Saint Fox: Damn, did she have to go and-
[half her face shatters into colourful glass shards]

Matilda: [Goes out to dead body] Oh Heimda Boedine, born in a submarine, craddled in astronaut’s helms. That you had to die defending the rights of this gender that I paid 70,000 USD to join, is such sweet irony. Nature has defered to the machine, but I will always remember the good times Heimda, remember when our mother died beneath the coke and vivienne westwood and her rigor mortis’d body held us in check one last hug before we gnawed our way free of her bosom and into the streets to pilfer for food? remember when we rode griffins from the mountains around shenzen and were shot down over iraq? We became concubines in Saddam Hussein’s household? Remember how he stroked our hair and told us stories of this water park of the ancients? Beneath all those paintings of blood, thunder, and sinew his pipe in hand he would tell us of a place where hmong and khmer can slip and slide as one. Such beauties don’t exist in our world, torn asounder by violence and tourism, but gentle Heimalion… or not so gentle Heimdlion our life was short our happiness brief, but perhaps for a second our peppers called out in the darkness..

Lamb:…..*do the cross* Amen.


May 16, 2009 at 11:55 am Leave a comment


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