Ketamine

at times when I realized I’m locked in this person, set in this self, it just annoys me. If you took myself and set it in space, I’d be a thistle of brambles. Ketamine is about the closest I’ve come chemically to describing what it’s like to be me, just mute and content to die. Passion in check, withering. If the software ain’t right, if the self isn’t in alignment then life isn’t enjoyable, but far worse is to be in purgatory now. Hell at least has a feeling.