conundrum

February 5, 2009 at 9:03 pm Leave a comment

Ok so I’ve mentioned it before, but over a year ago I switched methods of understanding the world. Previously I had thought I could be anybody, and I was excited by this prospect, I created multiple identities, fled through socialist hippies to church types to mild homosexuals, but I stopped doing this because implicit in the assumption that I could be anyone, was the idea that we’re all the same. This put my identity tool kit in limbo. But was this tool kit any good? Did it create warped pysches full of neurosis and pyschosis, problems from with in? I thought I was a pretty good internal thinker, although I made bad assumptions about the rest world, the automatic oh everyone understands what I meant. Now I find myself trying to arrange my ego to please these new found pleasures of the ID. Did I know 1 year ago that cat calling turned me on? Free drinks a slight inticement? I am more comfortable with my desire for pleasure, my id is slowing things down, my once hectic frenzy now dwindling down to acceptance and wanting. Two problems though, was my original identity tool kit any good? Most accounts of how identity is formulated differ form the wear and tear method of old, I am no longer a lock picker tumbler through emotion till bamn person X becomes understandable, performatitivty has taught me a little about my self, I see where my identity is coming from in better terms, but imaginations of my desires aren’t the solution to the ID’s problems, it needs real concrete solutions, genuine body parts to flex, fuckers to fuck me, etc. I now find the identity tumblers running again, only this time a little more energized, because it’s a big world out there full of people to occupy.

Entry filed under: media.

Live Journal integration Ketamine

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