August 14, 2007 at 12:37 pm Leave a comment

When does a parental contract expire? At what point does a parent go, ok my kid is grown up, fuck it he can do itself? Years ago, when I lived in Orlando, I was invited up to Memphis for Christmas or Thanksgiving or something like that. Over tears my mother explained and my father chasised me that I could no longer live in Orlando, FL. The reasons were fairly sensical although the sterness was not, after all up to this point no one had told me I was draining all my mom’s savings as she month after month paid for a $500 dollar apartment and obviously landing a job in Florida basically turned out to be impossible (although strangely work in Birmingham, AL was remarkably plentiful, but in a way my move from Florida had a lot more to do with being a promoter and somehow the weird way that my Dad always objected to that (once while driving Jan Jelinek and Thomas Fehlman from Miami, he told me to get out of the car and leave becuase they were “using me”). Such paranoia racks my brain, till this day I sometimes can’t tell if people are lying or if they’re being sincere, am I being used etc, but it was fairly clear that Jan and Thomas had no intention of using me and even offered to pay for gas and beer as we drove and later the turnpike. For the last few months I’ve been offered the option to come back to the US for awhile to vacation… or as my mother told me today, to stay. My parents continue to express a polite offense when I decline this invite, but to be honest why would I want to see them? If all returning to the US means is being lectured, another intervention, etc. and perhaps a stern lecture on homosexuality due to my recent blog posts (still not gay, James is in love with a singaporean boy, Ole is out of town, no ladyboys, desperately in love with a prostitute down the street) what reason do I have to come back? My father’s decission in college was that I was to be a writer, an english major, when the only fields I excelled in where sociology and computer science? why do they insist on making these choices? what person, much less a child, would enjoy such a relationship? whose parents are like this? I know there are worse, but come on, I mean with the exception of a minor amount of money loaned when I lost my job in Taiwan, life has been pretty stable in Asia. Yet, nothing in my relationship through out my life with my parents could ever convince coming to Memphis for Christmas is anything more than a rouse, a simple way of attempting to instill some form of wisdom that not only radically misunderstands my life, but is in reaction to a world they imagine and I never inhabit.

Entry filed under: media.

links for 2007-08-10 day dreams

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August 2007

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