a couple of small inversions

Shopping in the Emperuim I come across an old copy of Sweet Sixteen. Years back I paced to the trux wondering down halls and across sidewalks, today it doesn’t hold the same resonance. For a second I see my fascionation the way others do, as a fad that passed and perhaps should be around today. Album is still ok and with time could be a favorite again but so removed.

Saturday drum and bass turns out to be horrible. After 2 months of straight deep, broken, and tech house wityh Masa, Goru, Yoshi, and others I can’t dance to it. I sit there while Lek talks to some boy who speaks perfect Thai, why does anyone listen to this music? This is drum and bass mind you, had they played some idm wank fest I would probably have felt really annoyed.

for the first time in about 4 years I’m completely vegeterain again. For awhile in Orlando Amanda used to ask, you eat fish etc I didn’t. Being vegetarian turns out to be a pleasure, noodle shops improvise leeks around sweetened broths of yellow noodles fried in palm oil, a veggie curry place down the street sells curry for less than 1/2 the price of sukumvhit road places and then it closes. I spend 2 hours looking for veggie food in my borough. No luck. For awhile I walk around with Dan gilbert in my mind, what makes you happy? I have a 30 minute daily commute by bike (longer by bus), food is hard to buy, I buy a fruit salad and seaweed chips and walk across the street, the noodle place (the good one is closed for the night) makes an absolutely horrible mixture of mushroom and cabbage. Most places when you tell then you’re vegetarian (maunsauwirot, konginjee, ahan jay, etc) just make fried vegetables and then throw them over rice. It’s really awful. But here is the problem, what isn’t awful? my job requires excessive amount of paperwork, one parent doesn’t want her child taught by me, etc. At what point does unhappiness start? Bangkok’s major pro is that I’m about to start a night again (dj’n with Masa), that it has a “scene” in which to engross yourself, but I have to be up at 6:25 every morning to make work. The thing about Bangkok is that it’s expats are here chasing some delusion of freedom, one which the city in reality doesn’t just lack, but actively despises. Like people everywhere, most folks are conservative, hardworking, and dislike the impractical. Am I seeing this as a sign of Asia, or merely of learning the reality of the everyday?

p.s. gay sex is great.