am I not productive?

June 17, 2006 at 10:46 pm Leave a comment

About 4 weeks back I was learning (and getting somewhere) in LSL script and also was finishing a book on ruby and also I was on a reading binge. Since then I’ve started Thomas S. Kuhn’s the structure of scientific revoltuons, had about 5 more ideas of things I could do with stuff at Garagak Market in Taipei, failed to learn any more Chinese (I’m still trying to memorize the numbers), and have completely stalled on reading and learning programs. I’ve basically finished gardening for the moment until my cactus either comes or dies and my other pots have now sprouted so I have durians, mangoes, and everything else going. Primarily my days revolve around thinking about the horrible things people could say to me, a slight paranoia around western people (I graciously avoided two art guys who gestured at me at 7-11 the other day giving me the slight hey we’re wearing hip hats too knod (note: this is different than the hair nod given to people with long hair and or dread locks)), obsessing over personal situations, and not reading a book I actually find rather interesting. I’m also playing about 2 and 1/2 hours of counter strike a day and working my way through metroid. I’m also a bit behind with work stuff like tests and demo lessons. Parents have a tendency to instill in you a dread of doing nothing, “I just feel like your floating through life,” my stepmother always said, and laziness has been ascribed as one of my traits by many Asian employers. But, and I’ve been getting into this looking at the other side of it groove, I have been thinking and I have been reading blogs and newspapers and magazines voraciously and more importantly, for some weird reason video games are immersive for me again. I’ve convinced myself at one point that I have a problem, that I don’t do enough, but it seems like the problem is more context. When I lived next a flower market I grew flowers, when I lived in Orlando I did shows, when I lived in Memphis I read a lot, etc. Perhaps the slacker predicimant that’s so often abscribed to us young and remarkably not climbing the socio-economic ladder types is that we aren’t near environments that make creation easy.

Entry filed under: media.

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