January 30, 2003 at 6:11 pm Leave a comment

I say self-depreciating things about myself, but I always thought it was understood, “I’m better than this.” They were never limits, if anything that were safety beacons, a means of making the pathetic into something powerful. If anything, I had tremendous self-esteem and an underlying beleif that I could do anything. I felt un-detered by people’s insults although yeah they stung on some level. Anyway, now I’m on the flip side trying to get back to that. It’s not hard, but still it’s annoying to fall back when it seems you’ve come so far. Social anxiety was a big thing for me, but aside from that I wasn’t sensitive or anything, I was secure and for some reason beleived I was capable of a lot more than, and this is what hurt, what other people thought I was capable of. Jealousy and spite, they will make you strong. It’s better to feel a slight dis-satifaction with yourself and be constantly trying to self-improve than to accept limits that probably aren’t true and will leave you witless and stupid in the end. Enough bitching. Got pissed off at Pat Green today and his numerous ulterior motives bullshit. I don’t get how he came to beleive Toothpick Richman was playing in Atlanta when OBVIOUSLY they wouldn’t be interested in booking us w/o Davey Williams. Nisa cancelled that show the second Davey broke his hand. Alan Licht got back to me, and we’re bringing him down now. Living with Jecie is going well, 3 days of Bronchitisis got us in a good groove that’s pine-less and fun. Can’t wait till I have a cable modem.

Gotta go,

Entry filed under: media.

Jecie yeah so

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January 2003

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