instrospection

Introspection fucking sucks. I hate it. Things stay the same, you think about it, you get worse, then you have to build yourself back up. Which sucks. It’s a lot easier to tear yourself down than up. Always thought I put out a resistance to the world, now I feel like the world is dicking me over. I don’t want to see things like that, it sucks and it makes me feel like I should give up. Stay at home. Never go out, never meet people, let some fuck take care of me, etc. I hate that.
Sez, “I know you have a problem with yourself.” Duh. You should. You have to box, you have to move with yourself. We’re flawed, I’m trying to deal with it. The things people tell me at Stardust in sincerity, as if their placing me in these positions is some kind of apparent, pisses me off. I feel like a little bitch. Some fuck that’s by a movement of an invisible status qou at the bottom of the barrel. Some would say I placed myself there, but after years of thrashing to be a more competent and social person, I’m still seen as a quiet passive little guy people get to run over. I have no problem with quiet anymore, but your not going to run me over.